“Found true core spirit spark
Breathe into the mark
Om rounded with love
Infinite blessings above”
The OM was my first marking, originally inspired by a dear teacher and companion of mine. I marinated and researched the symbol for 6 years before I was brave enough to get it. Then through identification with it came with an entirely new wave of knowledge from my yoga practice. I felt it so resonate in my heart, and the decision to become a yoga teacher felt so clear. I had blessed my zeal chakra with this gift of universal peace, and now I was to become it, live it, and give it. It became a reminder to lengthen the back of my neck always; opening myself to my clarity, intuition, and peacefulness within. However, I knew the design wasn’t finished from the moment I got the original marking. I wanted to enclose the symbol somehow, when the time was ready. I was just waiting for it to come… the inspiration. The feeling of transformation, the feeling of… well, Bliss. Whether bliss meant naked and dancing in the moonlight or painfully injecting ink into my body, it didn’t matter. The point is understanding their indifference. Bliss is everywhere, in everything, and in everyone.
I guess there’s no need to explain the significance of heart and infinity symbols that I added on this second go around. They have significant meaning already. Love and Infinity. Infinite Love.
So I went by myself to mark my heart this time, knowing the significance of enduring this pain ALONE this time. As Ed, the tattoo artist and I approached the back of the shop, I glanced around the room, and sat down to find nothing but pictures of monsters and crazy tattoo designs. Nothing particularly comforting came from the screech of metal music blasting in my ears either. Slowly, I started to sharpen, focus, and drowned out the sound. My eyes magnetized to a small corner of the room where a metal photo lay of Shiva. Blessings! I smiled and quietly walked over to the display. I picked up the slate of metal and walked it back to my chair, placing my God, Divinity, myself, before me. A reflection to stare back at me as I breathe through the transformation.
And so I did. I breathed. I came to my breath. I meditated. And I cried, yes, I cried. I warned Ed I might cry. He told me most people cussed or got up to hoot and holler, but not too many tears were seen.
And so I let the sweet saltwater fall from my eyes. “This is me,” I said, “I’m just a crier. It’s not because it’s hurts, it’s because I’m feeling this weird journey of bliss in all life.” I’m not sure he knew what I meant, I’m not sure I knew what I was even saying. But what I think I meant was… I’m letting you in, I’m letting Shiva in, I’m letting myself in. Into the light. Into the dark. Over the river of my blood and through the fucking woods of my bone, I find myself.
Not doing. Just being.
Sitting with the water, the trees, the dirt
Crying silent tears of gratitude
For the hard times, and for the soft and joyous times,
I want it all
Because I want growth.
Infinite love for myself
Through it all.
FULLY, for ME!
That’s the seva. That’s what will serve others.
Empower yourself and you’re give others permission to empower themselves in their own light.